Tag Archives: berlin

I’ll show you how determined I can be cutting a fingertip away

As a 15 or 16 years old asshole, I could do wrong or painful  or dangerous things If I wanted to. It didn’t matter if I was afraid, I would tell myself DO IT, and I would do it. It was scary how determined  I could be. At times I had a sharp knife in my hand and I really knew I could cut any finger. I would do it on purpose. Same thing with breaking things or saying something out of place/outrageous. Lately I’ve been trying to get that “strenght” back. This is how I had thought about saying “hey hi, are you enjoying the evening?”, and I ended saying “I wanna lick your nipple”. The process is the same. The violence as well.

A few months ago I could feel as punk as fuck and I would tell myself I didn’t give a shit and I could scream if I wanted to, and I screamed.
I would tell myself I could be kinky. Well, there I “failed”, because it’s not my nature to be “publicly kinky”, but then, I’ve tried.
It’s time to give up something else now. I must do it with the same violence, I have to do it. Just fucking do it.

I wanna enjoy everything I do.

Anyway, I like to promote artists. I’m listening to this dj set and I’m liking it a lot https://www.mixcloud.com/DJNEUEK/ds-neue-k-lithium-live-mix-set/.

love

Facts.

Monday: first day of the week, I’m exhausted and I’m terrified at the idea of the following week. I’ll work like a fucking dull mule,without asking, without questioning, going on, daydreaming.

Facts.
The beard keeps growing, I’ve trimmed it three time since I keep it “long”. I’m scared of trimming it, I may do it wrong and cut it too short. Is this ME? In the past years I’ve even shaved twice in a single day to avoid anybody could even imagine it, and to help avoiding that, I’ve used make-up to cover. I grew tired of myself. I’m tired of my look, I’m tired of my habits, I’m tired of my failures. I’m never satisfied, I’m never happy.

I’m reading this book, first and only german one, yes I’ve written it months ago but then I didn’t do it. It’s hard for me, I don’t have such a vocabulary, but it’s so funny, because I know the woman who wrote it, so classy and lovely, and reading about her getting the train without ticket or stories about her boyfriends, or whatever else, is something just different from what I see now: beautiful flowers, books all over the place, her being so shy. I like her. One day I’ll tell her I’ve read the book.

This morning D. showed me this sweet video of his son telling about “the guy with long hair, that when comes here the first thing he does is taking the shoes off and yeah it’s Nunzio!”. My heart melts with kids. Around four  in the afternoon I met the kid and he didn’t expect me to be there, he was, as the mother said, “erstaunt”. I tried to make some joke in German and then since he had a toy-guitar,  I asked him if he played and the father said I do, so the kid took the guitar and threw it at my feet. I want all Betty Poison supporters to be so determined!

In this flat we have “old windows”, which means double ones. With the cold weather the wood broke and now they don’t close anymore. Feel free to be minus whatever, I’m here waiting with open arms.

I feel such an atavistic melancholy. I have deleted time. I can’t explain what I mean, just because I would reveal. I’ve been a master. A master of loneliness. I may be going out now, walking through the dark park nearby. I’d get scared, I’d feel something, finally! I anesthetize my emotions, I enlarge them, they explode, so fast they’re nothing again. There’s nothing again.

I don’t want to sleep, I just want to scream.

We shoot for Art’s sake

Last Saturday we had our first shooting as a team in the supergeil studio in Dessauer Straße. Food photography for Naturalien. I’ve already seen a good preview of the job done, I love it. It was a cool working day. Moreover we had the chance to eat all this super healthy and super tasty food, which was amazing!

You’ll soon get a virtual taste of it all!

__ https://www.facebook.com/piuomenolab/
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__ www.piuomenolab.com

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Sweat tastes good

It’s a matter of attitude, it’s all how you see things, then they become something specific. The weak, WEAK, thing is that everybody wants to be so cool. What’s so fucking amazing about being cool and unique? We’re so many, who gives a shit. We all are, we all are not. Last night there was this asshole, I’ve met him through some dark music-oriented event or something, I said hello and asked what he was actually doing in life, not that I cared that much. He said he was playing music, djing, about once or twice a year. You boy wanna make it sound like YOU’RE SO COOL YOU ONLY PLAY ONCE A YEAR. I’m not sure you really do that in life, boy. I asked what music, he said “a bit of everything”, I said that didn’t mean much, but then again, I didn’t really care. Then there’s the spanish girl. God it took me ten attempts to understand the work “e r o t i c”. Did I find erotic men dancing in underwear? Then the topic became “flaccid penises”. There’s nothing really wrong with that, but I guess usually is considered not so “manly”, and everybody wanna be a perfect show-off, which means if you’ve to be naked, you’ve to be “well structured”, which is very boring indeed. Then I met this australian guy who had a custom design shop where he basically sold t-shirts. I don’t usually care about how people live, but I asked if it went well, yes “incredibly well”. He was very glad to have left Kreuzberg. He now lives in Wedding and we started talking about a place I love with all my heart there, “Tango Loft”. I worked there for a short time and I’m so glad I’ve met such beautiful people. If you wanna have a taste of beauty, among lilium and candles, go there.

I guess I’ve to spray some antispetic on my nipples. They are insensitive. This means I’ve to keep an eye on them if you pull them or something, you may even rip them off, without me noticing. Licking them is only for your own pleasure, and I always feel a bit strange. The best result you can get is infecting them. Anyway I do keep them clean, so it’s fine, if I wouldn’t do it everyday I’d have a little tit right now. Moreover your boyfriend or lover or whatever is getting back and I have no contract with any of you, but I perceive he is not enjoying the view.

I had a really long talk with this norwegian guy. He’s actually supported from his country to create art, which is mostly painting. He takes pictures of very spontaneous moments (you wake up in the morning or something) and then he paints them, making all of that a bit less “natural”. The grandma was sicilian and she was called Teresa. I had to tell him I had watched a documentary about Maria Theresia, lovely Holy Empress, fighting Friedrich II. In such circumstances, like 9am with a guy in underwear, I may even discuss which is the best way to cook pumpkin. I’m a MASTER in good-talk-in-the-wrong-moment. While fucking I may even ask you why you divorced. Not saying I haven’t done it yet.

At the end of it all, it was a really boring night. It started with a guy asking me if I had drugs and it ended up with the same guy at the Garderobe asking me if I had had fun. The most funny thing was to see these people dressing in the courtyard, all going back to “ordinary life”. In fact I don’t understand why people need cages and labels to feel free.